My mom hits cows

So, for those that think I'm picking on my mom - well - I'm not! I'm just relating facts. My mom has a 'driving a car and hitting big animals' problem. I hit poles with my cars and my Mom hits animals. She once hit a black bull on the way home from Logan to Mendon at night. All you could see was the tail lights from the car showing out of the ditch. She hit a deer on the way from Wellsville to Mendon at night - the deer delivered it's baby on the windshield. Gross - gosh mom! Once mom was driving me home from Logan (at night) and a whole herd of cows came at us on a run down the road. The cars were herding them from the other way and we were in 'their' way. I was screaming - I looked over at my mothers and she was cool as a cucumber as she plowed right through them! (Would you like fries with that burger?) One year for Christmas I gave her a plastic cow with a target on it - I think she secretly loved it.... As I look at the forlorn look in this cows face I think I recognize it from that night.... the only thing is - it has two different numbers in it's ears. I think it was from each time mom hit it! Recently mom had surgery on her eyes. She told my sister in law Terri that she could still drive - she would just 'drive slowly'. Things that must go - (sweet beautiful, kind) old people driving slowly - at night - with cows. I decided to post this blog because I found this joke. Not only is mom a beef-eater, and blind - she also cannot hear! So thus the cow post, the jars and jabs about driving, and now - the deaf joke. If my mom offers to drive you somewhere - call me fast - before the sun goes down!

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding
the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows.

"What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

'Hamburgers on the grill' takes on a whole new meaning at our house! Have I mentioned how much I love you mom? Well - I do! Love, Nic